Hide your fanfiction
by the-rabbit-of-certain-doom
Summary: Matt writes terrible fanfiction about his favorite manga that incldes nicolas cage,homestuck and kpop..and mello threatens to release this terrible fic to the world,what will Matt have to do to stop him?


**Important Author's Note:**This is the single most idiotic thing I have ever written.. I was dared to write the most terrible fanfic I could think of so I did, but then I realized that I could make this fic so much better then all of a sudden this happened. I don't own madoka magica or death note…if I did my babies wouldn't have died. Uhm keep in mind that the first part of the story is purposely bad so I get why you would hate it!

_ Kyoko's pointed teeth poked out of her mouth as she smirked. She looked over at her most recent "art" project and made a satisfied "humph". She was quite __proud of her piece. The red haired girl had actually spent about three days working on it! Her laptop screen illuminated her otp…Homura and Madoka. She had this __weird head-cannon that secretly Homura was a descendant of cthulu and decided a few days ago that she needed to draw how she thought her otp would react to the __powers of the great tentacle god. _

_ When she isn't eating or fighting the girl is usually found is sitting in her room drawing shipping pictures of her otp, though she was__known to draw incredibly disturbing things: furries, aliens, BNDSM, water sports (which ever weird kink you could possibly think of, this pointy toothed magical girl has __drawn it) no matter how messed up her other drawings are, I will bet on my fourth nipple that this new picture is the most fucked up cackiest thing you could ever __see. So I guess I'll stop stalling and tell you what Kyoko was so giddy about. Dare open your eyes and take in her beautiful art._

_ Depicted on her screen, Homura __Akemi was drawn with three olive green tentacles coming from her boobs,one from her left eye and coming about of her mouth. Homura was clad in a sailor Jupiter __cosplay, partaker number two of Kyoko's ship was drawn quite fabulously disturbing also: Madoka was in a sexy little cow suit, that cut right below her ass...the mini __dress had that had an udder on each of her boobs,each one of her udders took about four hours to draw! Kyoko had to get each little nipple hair PERFECT. _

_ I refuse to __write any more about this. I may break down crying. Kyoko let out a giggle and swiveled her rolling chair around so she was facing the opposite wall of her desk, and __looked at the colored boxes._

_ Each box contained some sort of packaged snack food (or "garbage" as sayaka miki called it). The pointy toothed girl used her feet to push __off the ground, propelling herself toward the boxes and slammed smack dab into a purple and red box. Kyoko was at first shocked, she didn't know she would slam into __it that hard, she also had no idea that a box of fruit snacks could actually injure her! Her head freaking hurt! _

_"How in the hell did cardboard hurt me?!" _

_She shook her __head in a comical way and saw that the impact of her forehead had dented the box; the strawberry mascot was dented in a way that its speech bubble now said "enjoy __the mayo"._

_ Kyoko blinked once, twice then burst out laughing..."j-just like that FREAKING K POP SONG" she said through her snorts, she suddenly had an amazing__idea: the kpop band "super junior" replaced by random fruit mascots from the box..pineapples, cherries, apples but with Korean boy band floppy hair.…_

_kyko almost fell __off of her chair as she thought of the fruit snack band singing "spy" and dancing in James bond outfits…she laughed for a solid ten minutes before she forgot why she __was laughing and looked at her ceiling to calm herself down_

_ "what the actual fucking fucK" she thought…"huh…how long has it been without sleep? Two? No three days__?" The girl sighed and grabbed a few packets of fruit snacks and propelled her chair to her bed, and promptly flopped onto the Nicolas cage bedspread and the __gamzee pillows... (another of her OTPs) she opened the bag of fruit snacks and suddenly felt in a fan fiction mood…she looked on her phone at the harry potter archive_

_"my immortal" Kyoko read..."whoa that's a lot of chapters this better be good" she started to sakhjskasWwueikj_

….."MATT!" said boy was at first startled by the sudden cry of his name and looked up from his lap top screen but soon realized the source of the voice wasfrom behind him. "Yeah?" he asked as he turned his neck around to look at his orange haired roommate. Mello had a bad habit of silently watching his goggle-clad roommate as he wrote.

It honestly pissed Matt off. "I told you to stop freaking breathing down my neck when i'm typing, damn it!"

Mello giggled and wrapped his arms around matt's neck while leaning closer to get a better look at the screen. "Sorry. Your face just looked so intense! I wondered what you were concentrating on..." he finished his sentence with the snap of a chocolate bar. Matt's skin tone was suddenly painted in red as he realized what he was working on and what Mello obviously saw. He quickly tried to shield the screen using his body and yelled:

"OK THIS IS MY FIRST FANFIC AND I SUCK AT WRITING…YOU ARE GONNA LAUGH AT ME ABOUT THIS FOR THE REST OF MY DAMNED LIFE ARENT YOU?!"

Mello quickly retorted with "HAH WAIT I THOUGHT YOU WERE JUST READING IT!" he let out a rather ungraceful snort "I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WROTE IT!"

the leather clad boy suddenly pushed Matt's head down with his boot and pulled the laptop out from under his captive, laughing maniacally and dashing to the bathroom "i'm gonna send this to the ENTIRE mafia! Maybe even that Yagami douche! HAH WHAT ABOUT THE ENTIRE TASK FORCE!?"

Mello concluded his threat by slamming the bathroom door. After a few seconds of lying on the floor stunned, Matt got over his initial shock of being pushed over and sprinted to the bathroom, he put his ear to the door and could hear Mello reading the fic in a mocking deep voice and occasionally letting out a breathy laugh. "_Homura Akemi was drawn with three tentacles coming from her boobs" _

Matt kicked the door and yelled "Mello! Please! I'll do anything! DO NOT SEND THAT FIC I BEG YOU"

The choco addict responded with "matty, tell me. Where exactlyare you going with this fic? Is there even a plot line?"

before Matt could answer he was greeted by the shrill cry of Mello screaming and an audible thump that was probably Mello rolling on the floor reached Matt's ears

"OH MY GOD GAMZEE ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS"

Matt slammed his face into the bathroom door in shame and mumbled in a small voice "..I think it's a nice pairing" the orange haired boy heard that faint mumble and immediately let out a bunch of wheezes and breaths that matt figured out were attempts at laughter

"matty! You…should…write...a...fic...about...that"

The gamers' ears turned a bit red at the few fic ideas that came to his mind "I-if I write it will you PLEASE not send that fic to ANYONE"

Mello pouted even though this facial expression was blocked by the bathroom door and whined dramatically "aww..I can't show anyone?" he put extra emphasis on the e in the word E because Mello knew Matt hated his whiny voice and wanted to toy with him further

"I'm sure our white haired little weirdo would love, love _love_ this!"

Matt flinched as he heard Mello's idea, could just imagine Near's normally emotionless face contorting into a look of confusion and disgust

"Mello! I'll do ANYTHING please don't send it!" he slapped the door so that Mello would get the message that he was desperate

"anything you say? Hmm tempting…"

suddenly matt realized what he had just said and his mind flipped to an image of the word "shit" written over and over in comic sans…"_ugh! Why would you say that dumbass!? He's gonna make you do something terrible! __He might even send it and not tell me but still make me do his 'anything' you are such an idiot! Why would you expect HIM of all people to comply with you?!"_

suddenly Matt was pulled from his mental argument by the sound of the bathroom door opening.

"though..." Mello paused, letting the word hang in the air "it would be entertaining to send this to everyone.."

he gestured to the laptop with his thumb and said in a singsong voice

"I think 'anything' is a better deal"

Matt did not like the sound of that. Not one bit. Everything was wrong, why was Mello being nice? Why was he talking in that sickly sweet tone and he DEFFINATELY didn't like the way Mello stressed the word "anything" Matt looked up at Mello with fear clearly lined in his face and saw Mello smiling sweetly down at him. Matt cleared his throat and attempted to speak but his vocal chords failed him and the only sound that was uttered was a mousy squeak.

"w-what do you want me to do then?"

Mello sneered _"not a good sign"_ Matt thought.

Mello then picked up Matt's drooping head with his foot in a way that Matt was forced to look up at him. He was at least 78% sure that he saw Mello's eyesglint evilly. "Well since you said you would do 'anything' I agree to _'anything'_" Matt looked down at his knees and fearfully murmured "a-and what exactly is your idea of 'anything'?" Mello then fell to his knees dramatically and whispered into Matt's ear …..

"W-WHAT?! NO CIGGARETTES? NO VIDEOGAMES FOR A MONTH?!" Matt jumped backwards and screamed in disbelief. Mello tilted his head to his left and lowered an eyebrow and Matt realized that there was much worse things Mello could have done or forced him to do "oh ok i-im cool with that" Matt smoothed his hair and tried to fix his face so he wasn't gaping like an idiot. "is that all?" he said in an attempt to regain his "cool guy" composure.

Mello shook his head and smirked causing the other boy's eyes to widen "ugh well. I figured there would have been more to this bargain"

Mello eyed his roommate, making sure he had Matt's full attention before telling Matt his demands

"I'm gonna need a few packs of moist towelettes, a copy of boku no pico and the prequel to it, a copy offifty shades of gray the Spanish audio book, a camera, and lastly a piccolo cosplay…OH and your Tumblr password! Sound good to you?"

if Matt had beendrinking he surely would have done a spit take "w-wHAT? I get that you are gonna make me do something awful but how do those objects even connect towhat your planning!? WAIT WHAT IN THE ACTUAL HELL ARE YOU PLANNING?!" instead of answering Mello pushed Matt's face into the carpet and menacingly said "Matty...it's not your place to question me, do you want me to send out that _wondrous _story?"

Mello drew out the word 'wondrous' so Matt wouldremember how truly vomit educing his story actually was. Matt mumbled into the carpet

"I don't know what is worse…letting you carry out your plan or lettingyou send the story, either way I'm fucked"

Mello moved back his hair and put his hand to his ear "what was that Matty? You want me to send the story?"

Matt attempted to grab Mello's wrist "just do what your gonna do then let me die in peace!" Mello smirked "wow Matty no need to be so damned dramatic"


End file.
